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August, 2011:

Giving your kids everything they want can kill them

As parents, it’s a given that we will have to make many difficult decisions when it comes to our children. I think one of the most difficult decisions comes when our kids turn 16. They, of course, want their driver’s license right!now! They want their own transportation right!now! I remember when I turned 16. My parents handed me a gift wrapped box. I was beyond excited when I opened that box and saw a set of car keys. I couldn’t believe they had gotten me a car! They didn’t. It was a set of keys to the cars we already had. Cruel, cruel joke, and one I may just use on Aidan when he turns 16.

One thing I know I will NOT do when Aidan turns 16 is buy him a motorcycle. Now, I have nothing against motorcycles. In fact, I quite like them. I don’t have my motorcycle endorsement, and in all honesty, I’ll probably never own one, but I’m more than happy to ride bitch on the back of someone else’s. The feeling of being on a bike is freeing. Nothing between you and the road. The wind rushing by. It’s quite a rush. It’s also inherently dangerous. Even the most conscientious riders are always at risk. More often than not, it’s not the ones on the bike that are at fault in an accident. It’s the people in cars around them who are not paying attention. Of course, there are some riders who are just idiots and weave in and out of traffic with no regard to their safety or anyone else’s.

There was a local high school student that was killed on his motorcycle this week on his way to school. He collided with another student’s truck. The details are still being sorted out, and it is not yet clear who was at fault. He was wearing a helmet, but he was still killed. This young man got his license nine days before this accident. His parents bought him this motorcycle the day before this accident. One day. He had his bike for one day.

I feel for these parents. I know they’re going through unimaginable grief. However, I can’t help but wonder what the hell they were thinking by giving their 16-year-old a crotch rocket for his birthday. Sixteen year olds driving cars is scary enough. A motorcycle at 16? That thought would never cross my mind. Kids just simply aren’t experienced enough to handle that kind of responsibility. I can’t imagine the guilt those parents must be feeling on top of the grief of losing their son. I know we all want to give our kids everything they want, but sometimes you have to make the tough decisions for them and be the bad guy. I would imagine if these parents had to to it all over again, they’d be the bad guys and still have their son.

I’m With The Band

I know I don’t have to tell you all who Aunt Becky is. She’s a legend on the Interwebz. What you may or may not know about her, however, is that she is the founder of Band Back Together. Band Back Together was started as a place where everyone could tell their stories of loss, dark things, light things, anything really, and know that none of us are alone. For every dark or light thing we experience, there are others who have gone or are going through the same things. There is safety in numbers, and Band Back Together is living proof of that. That is why I became one of the Brains Behind the Band.

Most of the blogoshpere is cavorting at BlogHer11 in San Diego this weekend. While I’m extremely jealous that I’m not there, Aunt Becky is there doing amazing things for Band Back Together. Please take a minute to watch this video and share it everywhere you can think of. Band Back Together isn’t about any one person. It’s about all of us supporting each other and knowing that none of us are alone.

I’ve lost my words

I really thought once I wasn’t working, that I would write so!much!more! It turns out, I haven’t had much of anything at all to say lately. Aidan spent two months in the mountains of North Carolina alternating between my mom’s house and his paternal grandmother’s house. He had a blast. I missed him like crazy! We left last week to go retrieve him, and spend a few days up in the mountains ourselves. The beauty that is the mountains is stunning. If circumstances allowed, I’d leave Florida in a heartbeat and move up there. I really don’t know what it’s like to live close to family. Since I left home for college, the closest I’ve ever lived to any family is four hours. Currently I live eight hours from my family.

I still don’t have a whole lot to say, but I thought I’d leave you with the beautiful mountain views from the stunning Mt. Pisgah Inn about an hour from Asheville, North Carolina.

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